


Toi et Moi

by YourShadow



Series: Schadenfreude [3]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Fix-It, M/M, Reincarnation AU, happy-ish, might continue
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-09
Updated: 2014-08-09
Packaged: 2018-02-04 01:32:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1761883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YourShadow/pseuds/YourShadow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>To You in 1,000 Years,</p><p>Eren, I never got to say I love you.</p><p>(Edit: Apparently my French sucks more than I thought because the title is supposed to be "toi et moi" instead of "tu et moi". How did I forget that? Anyway it took me forever to remember but I fixed it. Thanks to my Frenchies who pointed out the mistake!)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Un

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kittyotakuwriter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kittyotakuwriter/gifts).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Still don’t own Attack on Titan.
> 
> This is sort of a fix-it for Espérer and Auf Wiedersehen. As promised, dedicated to kittyotakuwriter~

_You and Me_

Eren woke up, the last vestiges of his final moments lingering in his mind. Always the same dream.

Of course, he wasn’t Eren anymore. His parents ironically decided to name him Hunter, but he knew of his Jaeger heritage.

And he also knew about Levi. At least, he hoped so.

Looking around his modern room, he wondered if he would ever find the man who was bound to his soul. Sometimes he thought it was silly to think about his past life, but he couldn’t stop the yearning he felt for his old friends.

“I’m going to the museum.” He called as he stomped down the stairs.

“Again? You were just there the other day!” his mother called. But it wasn’t really his mother, not Carla. He hadn’t found her yet.

“History project!” he yelled back, bolting out the door. He couldn’t explain to his parents why he kept going back, why he felt like he didn’t belong.

There was a letter there, preserved from that time when humanity received a grim reminder of their own past, and he knew it was for him. The moment he laid eyes on that letter was the moment he realized his dreams were memories of a past life. After all, it had his name in it.

_To You in 1,000 Years,_

_Eren, I never got to say I love you._

The beginning always caught him off guard. It was such a raw opening, something so personal, he felt violated for the author as it was displayed in public. Standing in front of the glass case, the letter slightly faded and old—ragged around the edges, stained with dirt (and maybe blood)—Eren felt something calling to him.

_I always feared it would end this way. I didn’t put my trust in you, because I couldn’t even trust myself. Still, I never told you how I feel._

The handwriting was sloppy, as if the letter was written hastily and full of emotion. Eren imagined Levi writing this in the middle of a battle or right after his death, fearing that each moment would be his last, so he had to get everything out before it was all lost. Maybe some of the odd hitches in the writing were due to the footsteps of a Titan getting closer to Levi’s location. Maybe he was writing this on horseback, on the run, or hiding out in an abandoned village with only a small candle for light.

Eren always thought about his dream, the feeling of desperation and fear, knowing something was wrong and that his life would end soon, snuffed out at the hands of someone he cared about deeply. When he was younger, it always brought him to tears. His parents never understood why he woke up crying. They thought he was having nightmares. In a way, the memory of his death _was_ a nightmare. As he got older, he thought about being angry with the one who took his life. After seeing this letter, he only felt pity.

_You were our last hope. I’m not an idiot who can’t see the truth when it kicks him in the teeth. We all knew the fate of humanity would come down to you. It was a lot of weight to put on your shoulders, I realize that. You were young, too young. I refused to see what it was doing to you. Putting that much faith in one person was always bound to fail._

Eren was a bit rusty at this part. He got the sense that he was somehow important, and in his last moments he was failing. He felt so much shame and disappointment in himself, like he knew he could have done better, and he knew the impact it would have on the world. But the details were fuzzy. He would have flashes of his former life, training with his squad, the titans advancing, faces appearing in the darkness of his mind. Putting the pieces together was difficult, but he started making connections.

_Erwin was a fool to force so much responsibility on you. He gambled on your life and it cost humanity its soul. I’ll admit, when you came to the Scouting Legion as a titan shifter I actually had hope of winning this war. I didn’t believe I was enough to stop the titans, just delay the inevitable fall of mankind. But when I saw you, I saw a future._

_Now, all I see is a miserable existence yet again._

He could tell the author was struggling with his emotions, overcome with loss. It was odd, knowing how much this person regretted taking his life, yet understanding the necessity of it. What went wrong? Why did he have to die?

_What I’m trying to say is this: I’m sorry. Maybe one day I’ll see you again, and can say that to your face. Until then—_

The last section could never be deciphered, no matter how many times they tried to restore the document. Eren pondered what it said every time he looked at the letter. He hoped he would one day know what the message was.

The last part was very clear. It stood out to him more than anything else.

_I will never forget you, shitty brat_

It was signed ‘Lance-Corporal Levi’ in a surprisingly flowing script. Scholars and historians attributed this letter to one of the most legendary titan killers from hundreds of years in the past, before humanity developed the technology to finally defeat the titans and cure the shifters. He had a record of killing the most titans, the most interesting back story for a historian to research, and was a hero to many children, even soldiers, to this day. A monument was built near the ruins of a city from that time. Books were written about his conquests, his victories were taught in every classroom.

As well as his defeat, shortly after penning this letter.

Shortly after Humanity’s Hope, the titan shifter Eren Jaeger, was put to death in combat by Humanity’s Strongest. It was known as one of the greatest turns of the war with the titans, where humanity was at its lowest, barely hoping for survival. Many scholars posed theories as to what happened that day, but no one knew for sure. This letter was studied so extensively, everyone had an idea of what it meant. But Hunter—Eren—wanted to _know_.

He sighed, shaking his head to clear the sorrow seeping in. He did a lot of research of his own, reading the books and writing essays for classes, but never felt close to the truth. There was only one way to find out, but he feared he would never get the opportunity.

He felt someone’s presence nearby, a tingle running up his spine. He glanced to the person standing at the other end of the display, the side of his face the only glimpse he ever got. He saw this man a few times at the museum, always wondering who he was, but never got close enough.

The display case held some mementos of that time, including badges and parts of the uniform the soldiers wore. Eren stared at the Wings of Freedom, feeling an intimate connection with the renowned symbol. The logo was used in popular branding for large companies, everything from cars to restaurants to department stores. Shirts, backpacks, stickers, cups, the symbol was everywhere. Eren’s heart clenched every time he saw it.

The man was staring at a badge thought to belong to Levi. There was an old poster Eren memorized, a wanted ad for the person who would one day fight until the very end for humanity’s future. It was a rather shitty rendition according to most scholars, although there were many versions of what they thought Levi looked like, but nothing completely accurate. The man was standing close to it, enough to compare features, and Eren shuffled closer trying to seem casual.

The man turned slightly, catching his eye.

He knew that face. It was so familiar, and not just because the poster was right in front of him. The black hair was in a slightly different cut, but those dark eyes were stunning, just as they were in his dreams.

“C-Corporal?” he gasped without thinking, staring wide-eyed.

The man smiled, turning fully, still a head shorter than him. “Eren, it looks like I found you.” Levi’s voice was the same as in his memory, teasing Eren’s ears and making goose bumps rise along his arms and the back of his neck.

Eren felt himself grin, a wide smile spreading across his face.

Levi smirked. “So, you want to know what I left out in that letter?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: Because I wanted to do a reincarnation AU anyway and this fandom deserves a happy ending. Also, if you guys beg, I might even continue this (wiggles eyebrows suggestively)~


	2. Deux

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Attack on Titan
> 
> This is the continuation of Tu et Moi and slight sequel to Vergissmeinnicht, from Levi’s perspective. Yes, it somehow picks up from Auf Wiedsersehen. It works, because this entire series is made up of alternate universes, so the reincarnated Levi in this story is from Auf Wiedersehen, while the reincarnated version of Eren is from Espérer. Seriously just don’t question it.

When he opened his eyes again, he could still feel the air rasping through his lungs, his ribs crushed beneath strong fingertips, his body caving in around him. The doctors said his lungs were underdeveloped when they set him apart from the others, covering his small newborn body in tubes. His parents wept, thinking he wouldn’t survive the night. But he was strong.

Humanity’s Strongest.

When he was older, the doctors called it asthma: that moment where his vision blurred and he couldn’t drag enough air down his throat, felt his chest tightening, felt his ribs squeezing against his organs. They called it asthma, and he called it a memory.

Memories of a past life filled his dreams, turning them into nightmares. Titans running rampant, living in the Underground, the maneuver gear tight around his body, Farlan and Isabel’s smiles, the way Erwin looked at him in understanding, Hanji rambling about titans, Eren Jaeger…

He knew he had to find them. He knew they were bound together in their experiences. Levi was determined to see his friends again. Maybe in this life they would all stay alive.

In school, they taught the history of the war with the titans. He was a hero to them. Eren was a disappointment, a could-have-been, should-have-been light at the end of the tunnel, a bright hope snuffed out too soon. Levi cried behind the gym after that lesson.

They praised Commander Erwin Smith, calling him the savior of humanity even though he too died young. Some scholars questioned his decisions and motives, wondering what he _wasn’t_ willing to sacrifice to win. But the text used worldwide for deciphering the past honored his memory so eloquently, no one could ever think of him as a monster.

After all, Armin Arlert was very good at recording the events of that time. He was, everyone assumed, the one who survived the longest. His words carried from page to page, over years of battles won and lost, until eventually the new Commander, Hanji, discovered the end to it all. A new weapon against the titans, a cure for shifters caught and interrogated, an end to the curse of living inside the walls.

Unfortunately, Commander Zoe was found hanging in the basement soon after the war was over. Armin made it clear that any praise the scientist received was met with a solemn expression, the excitement behind those glasses gone, a constant frown, and never-ending stream of tears. Armin included the suicide note left behind to explain why, but Levi already knew before having to read it.

He decided to go back to the museum to look at the letter again. He missed Hanji, wishing he could find his friend happy again in this life. So far he didn’t have much luck. He couldn’t even find Eren, whom he desperately needed to see for reasons he didn’t care to admit.

There was another letter in the museum, one he usually ignored as he passed by. One he refused to acknowledge. His love letter, his confession, even though he didn’t remember writing it. The thought unnerved him. He felt guilty for killing Eren, even though he could still hear the titan shifter’s roar as his life was squeezed out of him.

He realized that, not only was reincarnation possible, but so were alternate realities. Hanji must have found that interesting.

After staring at the letter again, fighting back tears, he sighed and decided to at least look at the case dedicated to his memory. He usually avoided it like the plague, because he wasn’t that egotistical and couldn’t stomach the memories. But today he was feeling masochistic, or maybe he just was drawn to something inside the case. Or in front of it.

He spotted a teenage boy staring openly at the letter, longing in his eyes. Levi glanced at the wanted poster from his days as a thug before joining the Scouting Legion, fighting back an ironic smile. His eyes drifted toward the badge— _his_ badge—next to the poster. It was eerie, looking at it now.

“C-Corporal?” he heard a familiar voice gasp out.

He smiled, turning to see Eren, who he looked so hard for, only to have the kid be right underneath his nose. “Eren, it looks like I found you.” He murmured, smiling at him. The kid looked ecstatic, grinning like a fiend, so Levi knew he remembered everything. “So, you want to know what I left out in that letter?”

Eren’s head bobbed eagerly. Levi gestured with his chin for Eren to follow, and the kid obeyed. He chuckled at the way Eren so blindly followed him, even now. They went outside, sitting at the small tourist café far away from everyone else.

“Have you found any of the others?” Levi asked first.

Eren shook his head. “No. You’re the first person I met. I’m so glad…I…” he scratched the back of his neck.

“I know. I missed you too.” Levi murmured, reaching out to take Eren’s hand. “I think when I wrote that letter, I must have been feeling like shit for doing that to you. This may sound weird, but that was a different version of me.”

Eren looked confused. “Different version? I know we’re reincarnated…”

“No, an alternate reality version of myself. But I still know what I would’ve said, somehow…” Levi explained. “Probably ‘until then, understand that killing you was the worst decision of my life, the one choice I regret the most. If I could go back, in another time, I would choose my own death before yours’ or something like that.”

Eren was staring at him, open-mouthed. “But…how..?”

“Because I did.” Levi answered, looking into those deep green eyes. “I died at the hands of the Ape Titan. I knew he would be there, and I knew if you faced him alone you would probably die, along with many others. I was selfish, reckless, throwing myself forward and leaving everyone else behind. I went against the Ape Titan alone and faced the consequences. I knew your anger would be enough to defeat it after. I knew it would devastate you, but I chose your life over mine.”

Eren was crying, squeezing Levi’s hand tightly. “I didn’t…th-thank you…I…” he didn’t know what to say, it was obvious in the way his mouth opened and closed, his words stumbling out of him. “But we could have done it together…we could have…”

“We have now. We all have this life to make up for what we didn’t or couldn’t do in the last one. That’s why I want to find the others, even your trainee friends. I want all of us to be together again, alive.” Levi felt himself choking and automatically reached inside his pocket, clutching his inhaler. Eren looked concerned as he brought it to his lips and breathed deep.

“What…is that an inhaler?” Eren asked.

“I was crushed to death. Born with underdeveloped lungs, had asthma ever since.” Levi explained, putting the inhaler away when he felt his airways opening again.

Eren watched him closely before nodding. “So how do we find everyone else?”

“We found each other. I just hope they remember like we do. Their memories will guide them.” Levi glanced off into the distance. He wasn’t sure how to get their attention, how to draw them to him.

“But it probably couldn’t hurt to make a little noise, huh?” Eren suggested, a grin slowly forming on his lips.

“What do you mean?”

“I did a little research on reincarnation, but not much, because I didn’t think it would lead me anywhere. But maybe that’s what we need to do.” Eren suggested.

Levi nodded. “It’s a start.”

They were quiet, sitting in the sun and looking at the people around them, people who may have been civilians or soldiers in a past life, or even titans. People who remembered, and people who didn’t. Were they lucky for remembering, or doomed?

Levi glanced at Eren, staring at him without any remorse. He was glad he remembered, if only for the fact that it brought him back to Eren.

***

“Hanji…” Levi whispered, staring at his computer screen. His mouth fell open, and he was starting to breathe heavily. Without even glancing down, he took his inhaler out of his pocket and put it against his lips, sucking in a breath of air.

“What is it?” Eren came up behind him, leaning over him to look at the screen. He convinced the kid’s parents he was a tutor, which explained why Eren went over to his house often, as well as their extra research.

Levi pointed at the screen and Eren’s eyes scanned the information. “Huh…sounds like Hanji.” Levi turned to him with a knowing expression. “It…it _is_ Hanji, isn’t it?”

“I think so.”

“Let’s go, the lecture is at the local college.” Eren was already turning away, grabbing his things. Levi felt himself grinning, grabbing his wallet and keys.

They raced to the college, arriving just in time to see a familiar brown ponytail and large glasses. Hanji was on stage in front of a podium, hands already gesturing wildly about reincarnation and memories and dreams and occasionally the word titan escaped amidst the fray.

Levi and Eren stood near the back, leaning against the wall, watching with grins on their faces.

Hanji noticed Levi first, eyes glancing over his just to dart back. He smiled, resisting the urge to laugh, as Hanji’s speech got even more excited and ecstatic than before. But the scientist was still professional, no matter how crazed the speech seemed.

At the end, Hanji was polite to the students who came up to ask questions, but when they trickled out the scientist leapt off the stage and ran toward them.

Levi was enveloped in a tight hug, almost bowled over. He gasped, wheezing, and Eren had to tug Hanji off and explain his condition while he took a pull from his inhaler. Hanji smiled in understanding and went in for a gentler hug.

“I can’t believe you found me! Of course, you’re not the first I’ve seen. Erwin was. Guess where I found him?” Hanji said quickly.

“Running for President?” Eren asked.

“Nah. Politics was never his thing.” Levi stated, already smirking as Hanji grinned wider.

“He’s an officer in the military!”

“Wow! I didn’t think he would go back.” Eren gasped.

“I knew he wouldn’t be able to resist, but I never found him.” Levi said.

“He’s been looking for you too. He wants to get the gang back together.” Hanji replied.

“Same with Levi. He found me. Well, I found him…” Eren began, glancing at him.

“We found each other at a museum.” Levi finished, giving Hanji a knowing look. “You know, the one where Armin’s book is on display, along with half the shit they managed to recover from the ruins inside the walls?”

“Oh, really?”

“Your suicide note is there, too.” He added quietly. Eren glanced between them, at Hanji’s guilty look and Levi’s wondering expression.

“Yeah…I just…” Hanji looked close to tears, but grinned again. “Now isn’t the time! I’m so happy to find you both, I have to take you to Erwin!”

***

Levi should have known that wherever they found Erwin, Armin wouldn’t be far behind. Of course, he expected to find Mikasa with Eren as well and was somewhat disappointed, but seeing as Armin literally wrote the book on their past he assumed he would be the key to gathering the others.

Eren chuckled at his friend. They embraced when they saw each other, holding on for a long time. Levi and Erwin stared at each other, then shook hands. Levi mused that Erwin had both his arms back, to which the man laughed and pulled him into a tight hug. Again he had to explain his asthma, to which Erwin gave a knowing look.

“I don’t think I remember you dying quite like that…if at all. Didn’t I die before you?” Erwin said.

“I _told_ you, there are alternate realities too! I think we all come from a different one, actually. Or at least, most of us. You and Armin came from the same one, but Eren and Levi are each from different realities.” Hanji explained.

“It makes sense that if we’re reincarnated, our alternate selves would be as well, and we wouldn’t all end up in the same universe again. But still, we remember and that’s what counts.” Armin chimed in. Heads nodded in agreement.

After that they asked how Armin and Erwin met.

“He was in my history class.” Armin laughed. “He was already in the military by then, because he remembered, and wanted to major in history. Like me.” the blond blushed, grinning down at the former Commander.

Erwin smiled, brushing a strand of hair out of Armin’s face. “Well, you preserved our memory so well, I assumed you would be a history professor in this life. I thought if I took enough classes I would finally find you. But I couldn’t resist joining the military, even though we hardly need it.”

“Oh, I found Mikasa too. She seemed really lost without you, Eren.” Armin stated.

“Really?” he asked, feeling slightly guilty about his obsession with finding Levi when his sister was equally important to him.

“Well, not completely. She’s still a total badass, an MMA fighter, actually. I think she’s a champion…or has a championship match. She’s one of the youngest competitors to achieve as much as she has.” Armin replied.

“What? Wow!” Eren exclaimed.

“Yeah, we were gonna go to her next match in a few days. You guys wanna come?”

“Yes!” Eren exclaimed, then glanced to Levi. “Well, erm…I would like to.”

“I want to as well. She was always a good fighter.”

There was a strange glint to Armin’s eyes. “I hear her opponent is Annie…” he said with a smirk.

“No way!” Eren cried. Armin nodded.

“I think he’s been the best at tracking everyone down so far, at least his fellow squad mates.” Erwin said, holding Armin close. “Although Hanji’s research and lectures has turned up a few others as well.”

“I found Mobilt after doing some experimental research and Erwin discovered Mike as a club bouncer.” Hanji said. “I haven’t been able to find anyone from your special operations squad, though, Levi.”

“Well, it looks like we just need to get the rest of the 104th squad back together, then.” Levi replied with a slight smile. Eren beamed next to him.

They were getting closer to finding each other, and so far everyone was alive. It was enough for him, knowing their deaths weren’t in vain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: Aren’t I clever? Anyway, this is the long-awaited continuation I promised you guys! I don’t know how many chapters this will actually have, or if I’ll update regularly, so treat this as a special gift!


End file.
